jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:14 pm

One day a blonde finds out from her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. So one day she goes out to the mall and buys a gun. After that she goes to her boyfriend's house. She busts down the door and points the gun at her head.

"What are you doing?'' says her boyfriend.

"Shut up! You're next!"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by el_mariachi on Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:46 pm

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?


Nothing. You already told her twice.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by EvilEd on Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:07 am

Did you hear about the ethiopian woman who fell in the crocadile pit?

the bitch managed to eat 7 crocs before they dragged her out.


What do you call a train that fails to stop at your station?

Thomas the twat.


Whats black and screams?

Stevie wonder answering the iron.


What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?

A gorilla shit on his face ! What a Face

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:10 pm

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:37 pm

MADELENE JOKES.................................


whats worse than michael jackson baby sittin your kids?....

letting the mcCanns take em on holiday!!



portugal has a new hire car available. its only small so if all ya kids cant fit in you can put one in the boot. its called the new renault mcCann!!

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:41 pm

what do you throw a nigger if you see him drowning?

HIS wife and kids.

2 lesbians and to gay men are racing to the beach. who gets there first?
the gay men... they already had their shit packed.


why dont black people and mexicans have kids?

cos they would be too lazy to steal.


why doesnt mexico have sex education and driving tests on the same day?
cos its too hard on the donkeys.

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:16 pm

What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.

Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!

Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.

Why do niggers drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.

Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.

Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.

What do you call a nigger priest?
Holy shit.

Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
lol!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by MuShu on Sat Sep 15, 2007 4:13 am

just out of curiousity puaj..are u not fond of black people?
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by saibo on Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:32 am

Im not racist........i fucking hate gays too!

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:58 pm

Lol, not personally, but we dont have much black ppl here!

Very Happy
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by EvilEd on Sun Sep 16, 2007 3:05 am

i aint racist, i like black people. i think every white man should have at least two.

Heres a nice unracist old one.

A bear and a rabbit are having a shit in the forest.

The bear turns to the rabbit and asks "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

"no" replies the rabbit.

so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:20 pm

She: How come u arrived home half drunk!
He: It ain“t my fault, I run out of money!
*************************************
He: Five more centimeters and ill be a king!
She: Five less centimeters and ull be a queen!
**************************************
Written on a public bathroom wall:
" My wife follows me everwhere I go"
(a little bit lower)
"No I dont!"
***************************************
She: Dear do u believe in love at first sight ?
He: Yes I do, if I had looked at u twice we wouldnt be married! **************************************************
Two gentlemen runing inside of a supermarket with their carts suddenlly collide.
Gent1: Sorry! I'm looking for mi wife.
Gent2: That coincidence, Im also looking for my wife!
Gent1: Really? Well maybe I can help u. How“s your wife looking?
Gent2: Well she have blonde hair, well shapely legs,big brest...And yours?
Gent1: Forget mine lets look for yours!!
********************************************
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by MuShu on Wed Sep 19, 2007 1:35 am

evil ed u bastard...u cant use material from "delirious"....how dare you!!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:58 am

How do you know if the waitress is having a bad day?
There's a tampon behind her ear and she's wondering where she put her pencil.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:00 am

Why are there no Muslims in Star Trek?

It's set in the future.

Yes i am back!!!!1111lollller
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:01 am

Q. What do you call a black abortion clinic?

A. Crimestoppers.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:55 pm

AHAHAHAHA i love that last one spetz

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:17 pm

You Know You Play Too Much ET, When...

1. You keep trying to pick things up by walking over them...

5. You feel lousy and look left for the status bar

6. The only way your wife can get your attention is to throw tomatoes at you.

7. Your PC boots straight into ET unless you press a key.

8. You back-up your ET files daily.

9. You try to press F on every door in the house.

10. You use the alarm clock to tell you when to GO to bed.

11. Your seat cushion doesn't return to normal upright position.

12. You throw open the door to your house, jump backwards, and shoot your mailman.

13. When on your way to work you scan the streets for medkits and ammo.

14. Going into a room you run in and out quickly to see what follows you out.

15. Watching someone come out of a room makes your mouse finger twitch.

16. You start side-stepping into rooms.

17. You look for sniper spots above you everywhere you go.

18. You think you can actually trickyjump walls.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Fri Oct 05, 2007 1:34 pm

a paki bought a donkey and proudly rode it around the town one day.

"nice donkey mate" shouted a guy "what sex is it?".

"its a female" said the paki.

"and how do you know that?" said the bloke.

paki turns and says "well riding around the town i've heard many people shouting, look at the smelly cunt on that donkey!!"

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by EvilEd on Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:14 am

JOB VACANCY:
small black person wanted,
must be flexible and willing to travel.

JOB DESCRIPTION:
mud-flap

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:02 am

WHAhahahaAAHAHA Ed LOL
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by EvilEd on Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:43 am

Zubu is a little orphan boy in africa, Who has
only one leg and one arm and has to cycle
10 miles to school everyday....

For just a small donation of £2.50 you can
download the video...it's fucking hilarious !!!!

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by saibo on Thu Oct 11, 2007 12:55 am

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by TheKicKer on Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:22 am

Lebanese joke (translated)
A guy sees his friend on the street and says: Marc how u doing m8? the guys says don't call me Marc - wot should i call u? lucky - y is that - Marc says i was in a cafe and a bomb went off every1 died except me. after a month he bumps in to him and says lucky how u doing? don't call me lucky call me lucky lucky! y is that? i was in a bus and it went over the cliff everybody fucking died except me no scratch!. after couple of months he sees him limping and shouts lucky lucky how u doing m8ey? DON'T call me lucky lucky, call me lucky lucky and a HALF! he says y the fuck is that -he goes a husband walked in the bedroom while i was banging his wife and shot me in the leg! the guy says so Y should i call u and a HALF? which he responds " CUZ IF HE CAME 2 SECONDS EARLIER HE WOULD HAVE SHOT ME IN THE HEAD"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by TheKicKer on Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:31 am

a Rabbit was running and jumping around in the woods; he sees a deer rolling a joint - comes to him and says " man y u doing this to urself, u know, forest, oxygen, health don't do that shit, instead come run and jump with me" the deer throws the joint and starts running with him. they c the tiger having 2 thick lines of Cocaine - the rabbit jumps and says " man y u doing this to urself, u know, forest, oxygen, health don't do that shit, instead come run and jump with us"; the tiger is convinced - he blows the cocaine off and runs with the rabbit and deer. they reach the KING of the jungle preparing his needle and a spoon of heroin above the cadle, the rabbit jumps and says SIR, u r the king of the jungle should not do! BANG! the lion slaps him hard and the rabbit is thrown like a mile away! the Deer and Tiger come forward and say: y did u do that? u r our king and the rabbit wants what's best for u! To which the lion replies: THAT SON OF THE BITCH EVERY TIME HE TAKES AN ECSTASY PILL HE WANTS EVERYBODY TO RUN WITH HIM o_0
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