jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:42 pm

5 pakis are sitting in a van, who is driving:

The police.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:47 pm

Warning to all UK citizens: there is a new type of key coming over from Europe and Africa. It can get into any house, shop or car so be alert.
It's called a dar-key.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by thefatco on Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:50 pm

spets i worry bout you sometimes dude

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:54 pm

A woman is doing grocerys, she buys milk, bread, meat and some other stuff while she is unloading her grocerys on the conveyer belt a drunk guy stands behind her.
He looks how she unloads her stuf and says "u must be single"
The woman looks to the grocerys and doesnt see anything unusual and she replies "thats right, how u know im single?".
The drunk guy replies: because ur butt ugly.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:57 pm

What's a Jewish Dilema?

Free Ham!

It is quite some work sometimes to translate from Dutch to English.

Why are there no Paki Footballers?

They can't resist setting up shop when they get a corner!

Now i stop!
There are also some nice site's with some of these jokes,
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:32 pm

yes! just yes! im glad im not only one makin these jokes, spetz i loved them dude!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:54 pm

What is the first symptom of AIDS?



A pounding sensation in the ass.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Puaj on Thu Jul 12, 2007 4:35 pm

lol!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:30 pm

whats more fun than spinning a muslim round and round on a clothes line?

stopping it with a spade!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by EvilEd on Thu Jul 12, 2007 11:20 pm

FOR SALE GRAND JEEP CHEROKEE

low mileage. only used for airport runs. slight fire damage.

10,000 o.n.o please contact: MUSTAFA SKINGRAFT ward 5, glasgow general hospital.


Did you know stevie wonder and ray charles had the same nickname in high school?

yea, it was nigger.


Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?

coz they have pubes on their head. What a Face

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:43 pm

man: you fucking fat bastard!

fat man: yeh im only fat cos ur missus gives me a buscuit every time i shag her!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:30 pm

two men bump into each other at the airport. "i cant find my wife" says the first man. "ive lost mine too" says the second man "what does your wife look like?" "well she's slim 5'10" blonde with big tits" answers the first man "what does yours look like?" Fuck her!!" says the second man "lets just look for yours!"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:33 pm

A bloke walks into a sex shop and asks for an inflatible doll.
"male or female?" asks the shop keeper. "female please" replies the bloke. shop keeper asks "white or black?" bloke says "white please" shop keeper says "christian or muslim?" bloke says "what the hell has religeon got to do with it?"
shop keeper replies "well the mulsim one blows herself up!"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:35 pm

a woman goes to the docters with a piece of lettuce hanging out of her pussy. doc says "oooo that looks nasty"
"NASTY??" replies the woman "thats just the tip of the ice berg!"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:22 pm

eeeeeeeee rampage u crack me up Very Happy
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sun Jul 22, 2007 10:56 pm

A car bomb has been found outside a mosque in london.............. Scotland yard have stated that the public has nothing to worry about as the police have managed to push it inside.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Thu Jul 26, 2007 7:20 pm

The bar at Glasgow airport have a new drinks deal. 2 pints of lager an asian guy coaked in petrol and a box of matches. its called 2 pints of lager and a paki to crisp.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by el_mariachi on Thu Jul 26, 2007 11:00 pm

Why are women shit at Skiing?

Cos there isn't much snow between the sink and the oven
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:51 pm

what the fuck is all the fuss about this great white shark off the coast of cornwall?
its the first white thing in years thats tried to get into this country!
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sun Aug 12, 2007 7:04 pm

a paki dies an goes to heaven, he meets st peter at the gates and says "im a good man, i give 1 to children in need, 1 to red nose day. and 1 to cancer research, can i please come in?"
st peter walks off and comes back 5 mins later and says "god says here's your 3 quid back now fuck off!!!"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by hubert on Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:56 pm

ram how did you make them up or find out about them!!! study lol!

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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:25 pm

two polish soldiers stumble across a russian and a nazi soldier. 1st pole says which one do we shoot first?
2nd says "the russian, its business before pleasure!"



whats 50feet long and lives off potatoes?.... a russian meat queue.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:37 pm

why was the washing machine laughing?

cos it was taking the piss out of the underwear.

a woman goes into a noisey laundrette and says "can you wash this dress for me please."

assistant says "come again?!"

woman.. "NO, this time its mustard you cheecky bastard!"
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:12 pm

a little girl goes to her dad and asks "daddy when my cat died why did it lye on its back with its legs in the air?"
daddy replies "well its legs are in the air cos its easier for jesus to pick it up and take it to heaven"
"oh my gosh" says the girl, 2mummy nearly died this morning!"
"what do you mean?" asks daddy, the girl says "well when i went to mummys bedroom she was on her back with her legs in the air shouting oh jesus! jesus! im comming!!" and if the postman wasnt there he would of got her!!"
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blonde

Post by Puaj on Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:13 pm

A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
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Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

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