jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Page 10 of 12 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 9, 10, 11, 12  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by jokiman on Fri Nov 28, 2008 9:36 pm

a guy just shot his load into his girl and as the sperm was on its way to her womb one tadpol says to another how long will this take ? Other tad replies a while yet mate we just passed her tonsils.
avatar
jokiman
Senior Clan Member

Number of posts : 95
Age : 51
Location : finland
Registration date : 2007-09-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:05 pm

I just bought a liverpool city advent calender... Fucking typical! All the windows are boarded up and some cunts stolen all the chocolate!!



in the local paper it said "please look after your neighbours in cold weather". Not ONCE has my 87yr old neighbour come round to check if im ok. the lazy bitch hasnt even taken her milk in for 2 weeks!


lucy's grandad died so she went to her grans to comfort her. it turned out grandad had died whilst making love to her gran. lucy was horrified to find out 90yr olds still have sex. gran explained they used to do it every sunday to the sound of the church bells. "in on the ding and out on the dong" she said. "if it wasnt for that fucking ice cream van he would still be here today"



my wife was tellin her mate that obesity is in her genes. i felt compelled to point out that she looks like a fat cunt in a skirt too!


two black mums on a bus. one says "is ya baby teevin yet?" 2nd mum says "yea mon, he allready stole me some dvds, a mobile phone and a laptop."

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:54 pm

spurred on by the terrorist attacks in mumbai, muslim terrorists have stormed the streets of bradford and are shooting anyone with a british passport. police fear the death toll could be as high as 2!

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:46 pm

hehe nice one mate Smile
avatar
pvtparts
Total god!
Total god!

Number of posts : 533
Location : England , stockton-on-drugs!!!
Registration date : 2007-06-12

View user profile http://ilovemen@hotmail.com

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Leon on Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:01 am

LOL!!
avatar
Leon
Admin

Number of posts : 185
Age : 30
Location : England, LIVERPOOL!!!
Registration date : 2007-07-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Leon on Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:32 pm

Police in america are hunting a man who tried to set fire to barack obarma, They have named thier suspect as Arnald scorch a nigga.

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


NEWS FLASH!!

The gardener of the whitehouse has been fired 2day. He only walked into the oval office and asked where the spade was. What a Face

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
avatar
Leon
Admin

Number of posts : 185
Age : 30
Location : England, LIVERPOOL!!!
Registration date : 2007-07-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Dec 13, 2008 11:45 pm

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing...... yet.

Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

Q. Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?
A. There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.

Q. What do you say to a Pakistani at Christmas?
A. A quart of milk, a loaf of bread and a pack of Marlboros please.





a judge says to a skinhead "you stand accused of throwing a muslim to his death off the 10th floor of your office building. do you have anything to say before i sentence you?"

skin head says:"he was only a paki your honour!"

judge replies "thats not the point young man he could of hit someone."

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Sat Dec 13, 2008 11:48 pm

lmao
avatar
pvtparts
Total god!
Total god!

Number of posts : 533
Location : England , stockton-on-drugs!!!
Registration date : 2007-06-12

View user profile http://ilovemen@hotmail.com

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:18 am

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'

'And just what the heck do you do with a 6 foot butthole? ' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by saibo on Fri Dec 19, 2008 1:31 am

Apologies if this one has already been on:

McVities have honoured Lewis Hamilton by putting a picture of him in his F1 car on their new range of biscuits.
"WogOnWheels" will be on sale soon in all well known supermarkets.

_________________
avatar
saibo
Admin

Number of posts : 268
Location : GREAT....YES GREAT......BRITAIN!
Registration date : 2007-06-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:06 pm

LOL!!! thats awesome.

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sat Dec 27, 2008 8:34 pm

paddy has been found hanging from a tree with a white pillow case over his head. apparently he found a magic lamp and his "first wish" was to be hung like a nigger.


and now festive specials.....



why dont penguins live in britain?

because they're scared of wales! Very Happy


why dont polar bears eat penguins?

because the cant open the packets!



what do you call a black man in a red santa suit?


a dirty nigger! dont let the suit fool you.

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Sun Dec 28, 2008 2:06 pm

hmmm rampage im guessing u got pengiun bars for christmas then? Razz
avatar
pvtparts
Total god!
Total god!

Number of posts : 533
Location : England , stockton-on-drugs!!!
Registration date : 2007-06-12

View user profile http://ilovemen@hotmail.com

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:43 pm

nah i read em in the sun Very Happy except for the racist ones of course.

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:49 pm

oh i get the sun Smile some of them are quite good but i never think to post them in here
avatar
pvtparts
Total god!
Total god!

Number of posts : 533
Location : England , stockton-on-drugs!!!
Registration date : 2007-06-12

View user profile http://ilovemen@hotmail.com

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:19 pm

just cos they are xmas themed really lol. news of the world is quite good for em too, and u get to see tits in a proper news paper! lol

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:03 pm

Rampage wrote: in a proper news paper!

i get news of the world too but really, i wouldnt call that a proper newspaper either xD
avatar
pvtparts
Total god!
Total god!

Number of posts : 533
Location : England , stockton-on-drugs!!!
Registration date : 2007-06-12

View user profile http://ilovemen@hotmail.com

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:41 pm

lol i meant a newspaper that doesnt say 'aliens took my anal virginity! pics on page 18' like the sport would

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by thefatcontroller on Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:48 pm

OMG ramps the aliens really did that to you...no wonder your a fucked up loser with no life.....Razz

_________________
luvs his dynamite

thefatcontroller
Senior Clan Member

Number of posts : 160
Registration date : 2008-02-04

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Rampage on Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:57 pm

my secrets out!!


now i must moved to bognor regis where they cant find me!

_________________
Scissor me timbers!

political pictures - He Gave Up TWO WHOLE BOTTLES of Bourbon for These Bad Boys
see more Political Pictures




avatar
Rampage
Clan Member

Number of posts : 605
Age : 33
Location : North east england!
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:47 am

What do you call a toddler with a runny nose?
Full.

-------------------------------------------------------------
How do you make a hormone?
Stick a rusty fucking chainsaw up her cunt

---------------------------------------------------------------
These two guys walk into a bar, and they've each got a black eye... The bartender asks the first guy. "What happened to you?"

The first guy responds "I had a slight mishap of words with my wife.. You see, we were getting plane tickets, and the lady behind the terminal was REALLY big breasted and I accidentally said `Two pickets to titsburg please!' and I MEANT to say 'Two tickets to Pittsburgh!' and she hit me.."

The bartender looks at the second guy and asks. "And you?"

The second guy responds "I had a slight mishap of words also.. This morning, while I was eating breakfast, I meant to say 'Please pass the margarine' but instead, I accidentally said `You stupid bitch, you ruined my life'..."
avatar
spetsnaz
Clan Member

Number of posts : 211
Location : Holland
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:53 am

Doctors have released Jett Travoltas cause of death.
Apparently he had a saturday night fever that prevented him from ah ah ah ah stayin' alive stayin' alive.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Dad is sat at home watching TV, when his 9 year daughter comes home from school. He looks up and she is in tears. Her school blouse is ripped open and her skirt is hitched up and dishevelled.

"What the fuck happened?" He demands

"Well" she replied in tearful sobs and almost hysterical, "I was walking home from school and I took the shortcut through the back lanes"

"AND? AND?" screams Dad trying to get more info

Sob Sob said the little girl "Some man dragged me into the bushes and tore at my blouse"

"OMG, What happened?" asks dad

sob sob cried the poor little girl "He then put his hand up my skirt"

"NO!" shouts Dad "Then?"

Crying through heavy sobs she replies "I cant remember, I blacked out"

"WELL MAKE IT UP, MAKE IT UP!!!" shouts dad as he starts wanking.
avatar
spetsnaz
Clan Member

Number of posts : 211
Location : Holland
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by pvtparts on Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:28 pm

lmfao spetsy!!! YOUR BACK! Smile
avatar
pvtparts
Total god!
Total god!

Number of posts : 533
Location : England , stockton-on-drugs!!!
Registration date : 2007-06-12

View user profile http://ilovemen@hotmail.com

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:52 pm

Back for good!
avatar
spetsnaz
Clan Member

Number of posts : 211
Location : Holland
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by spetsnaz on Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:25 pm

A priest checks into his hotel and says to the receptionist "I hope the porn channel on my TV is disabled".

"You get regular porn just like every one else you sick bastard" she replies
avatar
spetsnaz
Clan Member

Number of posts : 211
Location : Holland
Registration date : 2007-06-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: jokes! get em all in here! (may be offensive to all)

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 10 of 12 Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 9, 10, 11, 12  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum